Poop story, part II: Ms. Muscle a.k.a. the Sewage Gal

ADULT CONTENT. NO PICTURES PROVIDED.

All good stories are ruined with a bad sequel, right?

This one will be, too.

In the morning, I quickly exited the apartment and didn’t look around if the neighbours where there to wish them good morning. Happily almost forgetting the whole poop episode during the day (or at least, the shame of it), I came home after a relaxing massage and waited for my friends to arrive to watch a movie.

But then… I heard some noise outside and I realized, dammit, now they are cleaning the manhole! Cowardously I went upstairs to “hide” (yes, our hutong has two floors!) and wait until they were gone, hoping that my friends would be late as I had to pick them up from the bigger street (hutong can also be quite a labyrinth sometimes). As I didn’t really want to leave the apartment anymore…

Unluckily my friend Laura just called me then and said that she is on her way and would meet me in 5 minutes on the bigger street… So no choice left, I turned off the lights and left the apartment. Then I heard “OH! Someone is home!”. It was the “sewage guy”. Or not really, I don’t know who he was – someone my neighbour had called anyway, wearing a clean white suite t-shirt and clean pants. Definitely not a sewage guy. “Hey, you can’t poop in the hutong. This has to be cleaned.” I just said “Yeah yeah I’ll do it”, but the lady next door just kept yapping about how it smells and has already been like that 2 days etc. etc…

Already so ashamed that I just wanted to jump in the manhole and disappear, I just muttered “Ok ok, I will take care of it”. Then she asks me when my flatmate (a guy) will be back, to which I answered “next week”. She keeps mostly talking to the guy and says “OHHHHHH, next week, she can’t do it herself, she is a girl”. BLING!!! The magic words have been said.

The guy then asks: “Will we get someone to fix this and you will pay?” – “NO. I WILL CLEAN IT TONIGHT”. Besides the magic words, I couldn’t stand the humiliation of a “real” sewage guy coming along with his three mates and all the neighbours watching…

I pick up my friends and we watch a (bad) movie and every once in a while I remember my task that awaits me… And try actively to forget it. After the movie my friends leave (and now they also think it stinks outside – well of course it does ‘cos the neighbours had opened the manhole and it’s not closed properly). So I put my headlamp on, gloves on, lift up the manhole and peek in.

And now the bad ending that ruins all the sequels. I didn’t even really SEE any poop – just dirt, clay and lots of small stones that I lifted into a bucket with a pink plastic plate (sorry flatmate, I had to make that sacrifice). And oh, two earthworms. I did use a lot of Mr. Muscle to get rid of the smell – anyhow, I am quite convinced it will smell more easily now as most of the clay and stuff that has contained the smell has been removed. But at least now I know that everything that goes into our toilet or floor drain comes directly out of the pipe into the manhole. Well, Mr. Muscle, you will be a welcomed guest anytime and I think I will use you frequently from now on. One peek in a manhole was enough for me – I hope Poop story III has a lack of funding and will never be realized.

The lesson of the story: never ever poop in a hutong apartment.

Poop story

As a background information for the story, I live in a hutong.

In our hutong there is a toilet (in many of the hutongs, there is not). However, you cannot poop in the toilet as the pipes are not suitable for big poops. But, my flatmate told me that if you are sick or so, they do go through so you don’t have to run to the common toilets that are about 100 meters away.

So in order to go poop, I walk down this alley….

And go do my thing in here.

Another important background information: my neighbours probably hate my flatmate. Once when he came home drunk he couldn’t enter through the first ”big door” as his key didn’t work for some reason (after that door, there are about 4 families who live in the small side alley, including us). So, he was quite loud and mad…. So the next day, almost all the neighbours gathered around and were blaming him for being loud in the middle of the night and now their "guanxi" might not be the best...

Weeeeeeeell....

I think now our neighbours hate me, too.

I'm soooooo embarrassed now, and that doesn't happen too often!!!

Well... the story is... that I've had kind of a "la duzi" lately (meaning diarrhea; or just very “runny stuff”). Well not really, but the poop has been quite fluid lately anyway.... ehhe.... SOOOOOOO... I've been lazy.... (or not, but if I go to the common toilet it never comes!!!! and then suddenly I need to go....) SOOOOOOOO...... I figured that it doesn't matter as long as it goes through the toilet, and I have done it a few times...... PFFFFFFFFF.... well........... IT DOES MATTER.....

Almost immediately when I came home, our neighbour (a young guy living with his mom in the hutong next door) came to say to me that “Please dont poop in your toilet. Now all the shit has gathered in the sewage (the manhole in front of their door) and it smells really bad.....!!!!!”

So I don't think I ever want to come out of the apartment again......................... (and no, I cannot blame my flatmate as he has been in France for a few days now and the neighbours know he's not home...)

Baihe’s 5.8 slab almost kicked my ass

After a couple of nights I gave up trying to jailbreak my iPhone myself (that I inherited from my cousin; thanks Ben!) as all the IPSW bundles I downloaded were wrong… and my internet connection is not the fastest… So I went to a Chinese IT-market ”Bainaohui” and got it fixed for 100 CNY. Probably got ripped off, but whatever, at least it works now! And I can tell you, it feels like I am a completely new person after using the cheapest models for years... Funny what technology can do to you!?

Climbing-wise, I have been kind of unmotivated this week. Or it comes and goes; like on Thursday I really wanted just to have a rest-day, but thanks to some prep-talk I did go to O’le anyway to do my training, before my poker games. Despite on being supertired on Wednesday, I felt strong and good. However, spending one month in Finland and not climbing anything I wanted to (not from lack of trying at least!), I have tried to focus on just enjoying climbing without the pressure to ”succeed”. I mean, after ticking some hard routes earlier this year here in China I felt the immense pressure when I went to Finland – and I think it is partly the pressure that didn’t let me climb anything hard (and also lack of power endurance). Or then I just don’t have the head for it.

I am kind of a ”vastarannan kiiski” in many ways, and when people assume or want me to do something I do exactly the opposite… Subconsciously even. It is quite the opposite when I am challenged into something, or I challenge myself into something – I give everything and a bit more. ”You can’t do this” are the childish words that work for me eheh. I have however decided to train harder… And be ready for new kinds of routes later this year, the kind that I am never been good at (more overhanging and power endurance stuff – as my friend Ola so nicely told me on Saturday ”You really suck on overhanging stuff!”). I know I will be stuck between a rock and a hard place many times but I am prepared for it.

On Saturday there was a competition at O’le – so in the hope of good prizes I went there instead of Baihe. The competition was more of a ”fun” kind, a difficulty competition (if you just got up the route you won a prize) and speed-climbing with ski boots and gloves on (women without gloves though as everyone competed in the same category). I won climbing shoes, after miraculously placing 3rd in the speed-climbing (after World Champ Olga Shalagina who’s training at our gym now, and a supertall Chinese friend of mine, Zhang Rui) – as those who know me I am not the fastest climber eheh, but apparently skiboots work for me ;). The number inside the balloon that I grabbed when finishing the difficulty route didn’t give me the nice down-jacket I’ve been drooling over though; I got a harness instead… What a disappointment!

After the competition I got a ride to Baihe with some people from the gym – when arriving to the crag after spending the night in Guolaosi, this is how they set up their camp for the day… A very common view when climbing with Chinese people. Luckily Torsten saved me from ”camping out” and I could start climbing.

There is still one 5.12b I have eyed at the Beginner, trying to save it for onsight… And I had thought that this is the day, screw it, I will try it anyway (as I know it is not my style – looks like you need a lot of power endurance and I don’t have it at the moment). And as I looked up, first I was delighted – the draws are up there already from the day before…. And looking further up…. The last third of the route was wet!!! ARGH!!!! Stupid waterfall that suddenly has grown… (The route is on the left of the waterfall, going diagonally from the left, following the crack and finishing around halfway the wet section. There is another pitch after that.).

So instead I climbed a few routes just to get some meters done (5.12b and 5.12d I have done before but couldn’t do a repeat on one go – not very surprising) and then we headed up to a new project Ola and Torsten bolted a couple of weeks ago. First pitch is a 5.8 slab…. And what a scary one! Torsten went first as I didn’t have ambition for 5.8 onsight… And oh my, Baihe 5.8 slabs… Following him with a backpack and clipstick (that he didn’t need after all), already on the first bolt after clipping out the draw I felt the urge to crab the bolt… Same happened on the second one, though I still resisted but only ’cos I was thinking it’s a 5.8… After fourth one, it was REALLY a 5.8 in my opinion, but before that… Hrphm. Or on how many 5.8’s do you a) need to smear (no proper footholds) and crimp to get to the next hold, or b) just stand on slab and step up without handholds?

The project we went to is the second pitch; an overhanging route seen in the picture below, with a hanging belay from where the overhanging section starts. I did all the moves on the first try (top-rope), but it is a really pumpy and power endurance route. Difficult to say how hard it is, but I guess somewhere around 5.13a. I don’t think I can finish it within the few remaining weekends I have here in Baihe, with my current power endurance… But at least it’s a good training route if nothing else.

Ps. See the blue sky?!?! So it is not a myth here in Beijing, either...

Back in Beijing, back in business

Arriving back to Beijing after one month’s holiday in Finland, what waited for me was pollution, of course – and my first jetlag ever. Funny things happen when you get older I guess. Also somehow I have a sore ankle after last night’s sleep!?

Today the weather in Beijing surprised me again. I was going to Ritan-park to do a rope-climbing session as I definitely need more power endurance in the coming months – but as I was grocery shopping in Jenny Lou’s nearby and ready to step my foot outside, it was pouring down rain. No sign of rain just some minutes before, and suddenly all the streets are flooding. So instead I waited for the rain to stop (it didn’t, but at least it wasn’t raining so hard anymore) and came home and started my blog – finally. I still do intend to go to O’le climbing to do my training, but I am gathering some motivation and strenght first – as it is an 8-9 km bikeride one-way and my buttocks are still hurting from yesterday’s bikeride. That’s what happens when you don’t bike for a month. In Ritan-park, the wall is outdoors, so the holds will be soaken wet. Besides, I think they close if it rains.

More to come, enjoy the ride.